I was free... I was careless...

She's not some stranger you know, close though. I know her name, she knows mine (at least I hope she remembers). We had had a formal introduction some time back. Like the many many of those you have at work. There's someone new joining our department we had heard the boss say. Comes in a girl in a green salwar and a patiala. First thought in my head was "Sophisticated" and then... nothing more really. Back to my work. But just after some time, I found my mind going back to some thought. She was somewhere behind my shoulder, I turned to see. She looked as if trying to smile with tightly shut lips as another colleague tried chatting her up. A strange feeling I had right then. Hmmm... That's something new i thought. Back to work. But very soon I realised, it was all over me. And it made my situation worse, the fact that I was just not able to make sense of it all. I kept denying to myself that it was nothing about this girl. "What non sense!" I said to myself, as it hadn't even been an hour since i met her... And I had always ridiculed at the phrase "Love at first sight" and trust me I still did. I knew it was not "Luuuuv...", and this is not a Love story...

I have had my share of "Love, Sex and Dhokha" in my short but eventful life. For a long time I had truly believed that I had seen it all. Been there, done that. People who knew me closely enough would call me "Curious Case of ******** ******", which I dunno how exactly made sense other than me having had experiences ahead of my age in some funny way.

This girl more than anything else, intrigued me. Something about her, drew my mind. This vague 'something', was gonna become clearer and clearer in the days to follow.

The very first day I had noticed, she kinda kept to herself. Just like most people do when they are new in a group where everybody already is familiar with each other. But as days passed, she still kept to herself. Other than the occasional Hi Hello with a select few, she just bothered with her work.The more she stayed away from everyone, the more I wanted to talk to her... And it just kept growing.

It did not take me long to realise, what that something intriguing was... I was actually seeing myself in her. No matter how strange this sounds, but that was it. She made me feel and realise, who I actually was. A calm and quiet girl, who would get uncomfortable in a crowd, would rarely smile showing her teeth, would keep to herself no matter how long she has known the people around her, avoids eye contact as much as possible, probably fakes a phone call to get out of a room, fiddles with the cell phone to let others know she's not part of any discussion...

I watched her everyday, looked at her from far, steal a glance now and then to find out if she's looking at me. No matter how stealthily I did all of this, deep inside, I wanted her to know it all and that I couldn't stop. I also knew, even if she could read my mind and know it all, she would probably still be sitting there at her desk pretending to be oblivious to everything.

Days turned into weeks and weeks into months. For long now, I would wait for tiny opportunities to strike some conversation with her. Something small. Something more than a smile or a hi or a bye. Just something I could go back home smiling with. I didn't know what was happening to me. I hadn't felt this care free in a long time now. Careless and reckless rather. For I had surrendered myself to this feeling... Letting it take me wherever it was, making me do things that on an ordinary day I would have not! I knew it was some dangerous territory, I was treading in. Again and again, a thought came to my mind that, that I was probably pushing it too far. I found myself standing at one of those many cross roads one faces in his/her lifetime, where he/she needs to decide between doing the right thing and doing what ever under the sun your heart wants you to do. "There are no rights and wrongs", your heart tells you. "If its coming from within, If its true, If its all that the heart wants, how can ever it be wrong??". You probably could not have stopped yourself from feeling this. But its your conscience and yours alone, which decides whether you let yourself to act upon some feeling like that.
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A monday morning it was while preparing scrambled eggs I was humming to myself, a few lines of James Blunt,

".....And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you....."

That day, I drove to my office to bid farewell to my team. I had quit the job few weeks back to land a fairly better role elsewhere. I knew it was the best thing to do... It was as right as right could be. I had a word or two with everyone. But she once again was sitting far away. I saw her looking at me, I smiled and nodded slightly. She smiled back and I left the building.

Mamta and Nitin ...A Short Story

She waited there for him pretty much everyday... Never quite admitting it obviously. The balcony where she stood over looked the busy market street of Mahatma Nagar. A narrow swirling path just about enough for a car to find its way in the crowds... It was about 6 in the evening. The bazaar jostle had just begun and so had Mamta's wait.

Her son sleeping inside, would wake up anytime now. For once she wished, that Jeetu got to see his papa as soon as he woke up. She was worried that he was growing up too fast. It's been only 7 years since she knew Nitin, she thinks. At the same street underneath, he had spotted her from the crowd below and she was standing on a similar balcony, waiting to get noticed by someone like him, not quite the Prince Charming of her dreams. But when he looked at her, all she knew that this chap was good enough for now... She was young, but had seen enough men in her life to judge this one from a distance. Was it love at first sight??? May be it was... Just meant to be like this.

7 years on... Mahatma Nagar was a changed place, after all the activity by the law makers and the so called right thinking elite of the city. The old businesses ran out of steam, some got lost in time, some just shifted base to somewhere more appropriate. But she stayed there... only moved a few blocks away from where she used to be. From where she met him.

Eventful day it had been, the night of which these two met. Nitin was promoted to become the manager of the bank, where he worked. He had worked really hard for years before that, sacrificed family, friends and fun for this day. He knew he had earned this... It made him feel euphoric. And she?? What was her story? Well... she had come to the city about 5 years back a 14 year old girl in search of work, from some village in the far east, no one really knew the name. She never said and none cared. Though she was only 19, she looked much older... he saw her, and liked her instantly. He wasn't thinking too far ahead..not 7 years into the future for sure. But who knew...?

She hears the sound of the bike from far away... She recognizes the very sound of the bike on which she had had one of the best 6 months of her life. She knew its his Bullet. She cant stop smiling. Goes and wakes up Jeet, switches on all the lights of her small 1 bed room apartment. The bike sound stops right under the balcony where she stood before. The kid is confused, still dreary eyed. The door bell rings in a while... Jeet runs to open it. And as soon as he does, Nitin lifts him up in his arms. Kisses his forehead... Still holding his office bag over the shoulder. She sees them and almost begins to cry. He reaches out to her and hugs her. They stay there like that, the three of them for sometime... This moment was gonna come only a month later. She prayed everyday that it came sooner... She waited everyday for him.

But he couldn't help her... His first love ever, he could not make her his wife. The society and the world would not have let him make a 19 year old tart his wife. She and this boy Jeet, shall always remain a night's mistake for him.

His wife was waiting for him at his house in the upmarket Lekha Nagar, they were to go shopping for the month's supplies. It was pay day after all. His real life was waiting for him.

This affection for his first love and his love child could only make him do this much..bring them money on the 1st of every month. Help them survive in their bathroom less apartment, in an area famous for its brothels till only a few years back. Where he had been brought by his friends to celebrate his promotion... Where he had fallen in love, with the girl who had been paid to make him feel good. Mamta and Nitin... This is their story.